Here are 2 ways it can go down:

Scenario 1: He can start sleeping with you.Eh…why not? He’s single. You’re single and willing. What’s so wrong with him having sex with you when he’s horny or bored? Harsh? Well, that’s the point! He probably wouldn’t tell you all this. No…he’ll just keep giving you bullshit excuses as to why he “can’t get into a relationship right now…” You eat it up. All of it. In your head, he likes you and just has a lot going on right now so you don’t wanna make things harder for him. He’ll come around later, right? Ummmmm, WRONG!!!

Scenario 2: He DOESN’T even bother messing with you at all. You keep trying but he keeps you in the friend zone and throws you sexy smiles from time to time and tells you how “amazing you are” and how he’s just so “lucky to have you” in his life. You feed on this and just keep waiting. Hoping. Praying that he comes around.

Boy…I hate to break this to you. But in whichever scenario, you’re gonna get hurt. Lemme guess: You know someone who knows someone who found her husband through one of these methods, right? Yes, we ALWAYS hear those stories. Here’s the truth: Most of those stories are JUST that…stories. Fibs. Whatever term you prefer. Now, I’m sure there’s some girl out there who was the exception for some guy she ended up marrying, having kids with and being happy with forever.

But, the BIGGEST problem is that every woman thinks she’s the exception. This isn’t the case. Yes, we are all special in our own way and any man would be lucky to have us. Do you want to find a good man or not? Then, stop wasting time on all that hallmark BS and take control of your love life! Stop hanging around these men. It’s not helping at all. Not only is he wasting your time…time you could be spending to find a good man, but you’re also gonna end up hurt. And alone. And angry. And cynical.

If a man wants you, you’ll know it. Men are simple creatures. When they know you’re equally interested, they’ll make a move by asking you out on a date. Plain and Simple. If a guy always asks you to hang out with him and his friends…and never wants you to himself, RUN! If he doesn’t pay attention to anything you say but wants to get you naked, RUN! If he tells you he just has SO much going on and can’t handle a relationship “right now”…RUN! I’m telling you, you’re better off getting out of these situations before they get started and you’re emotionally caught up!

Dating is an art that a lot of people still haven’t mastered. Most single women complain that there are no good men out there. Now, while I can’t argue that there are SO many wonderful men just DYING to commit, I can say this much: Most women wouldn’t even know what to do with a good man IF he was thrown at them!

Sometimes, you could actually be meeting the right guys—those with “potential husbands” written all over them—and you’re messing up. My friend, Jules, was in a relationship for over 5 years and was engaged to the guy. Things didn’t work out and they both walked away after trying time and time again to stay together. Exhaustion had taken over…never a good thing.

Anyway, she got back out there and started dating. After a few “bad apples,” she finally met Tom, who seemed nice. You know that normal first/second date question, “How long was your last relationship?” thing that people do? Yeah, Tom threw that at Jules and she blurted out that it was 5.5 years and they were engaged and it didn’t work out and how once, when he came home late and blah blah. I should’ve put a collar on her and BUZZED the heck outta her so she could shush!

But, Tom freaked out, as expected and bailed after the date was over. Where did she go wrong? I’ll tell you.

No…Lying (especially with the VERY important things) is never good. Trust me. It’ll come back and bite you in the ass. Hard. Now, here’s somewhat of how she should’ve framed it:

“We were together for a few years. A lot of things went wrong. We probably just weren’t best suited for each other. After careful consideration, we ended things on a mature level and we both walked away in mutual agreement.” This lets him know you’re mature enough to deal with breakups, just in case things don’t work out between you two. Most importantly, it lets him know you’re not crazy and that you’re over your ex. No-one wants to deal with baggage. No man wants a crazy overly-emotional woman.  NO MAN wants to hear horror ex stories. It tells him you’re probably gonna say horrible things about HIM if things don’t work out. And, ladies, let’s be honest: Even post-breakup, nobody wants to be described as a horrible person.

After you’ve been with each other long enough (comfortable enough to spill jelly on your shirt and laugh about it and he thinks it’s really adorable), then you can dish out details. Even then, be careful not to sound insane. Things like “I would love to punch that idiot in the throat, kick him in the groin and run over him with my car….” Keep that to yourself! J

A lot of things have happened over the last few months. I’m headed to Grad school in a bit…

Oh, remember all that “Planning the wedding” stuff I had going on? Yea…thats not the case anymore either. No, the wedding never happened. I’ll get into details as we move on. So….yea, what have u guys been up to? Anything exciting? Anyone in a new and healthy relationship? Oh, maybe even a proposal happened recently? Share!!!

Please, I want u to advice me about a guy I met on the net. We started talking on phone..he actually lives in the states and I live in Nig. We never met but he make his intentions known to me. He wants marriage and asked me to give him my attention  and I did…I started liking him and looking forward to meeting him… but what i don’t understand about him is he doesnt call me everyday and sometimes I’ll text him, checking on him he replys me and never calls…and he promised coming on valentines day and he never called to let me know he is still coming…I’m just so confused. Pls advice me. I think i like him alot..if he’s for real, can I go ahead and call him?

From a concerned reader.

Dear Concerned Reader,

I definitely feel your frustration and you have every right to question his intentions. However I have a few concerns.
For starters, you mentioned that yall haven’t met yet. How is such a person already talking about marriage?  I understand the fact that you both live in different countries doesn’t make it easier but the ultimate truth is that if he really truly wants to make this work, then he will visit.

How long have you both been talking/ texting? That also determines a few things. If it has only been a few weeks or so, then its too early to freak out. However, if we are talking about months or even a year, then my advise is thus: Give him an ultimatum (but be nice). Tell him that you cannot continue having a “phone relationship” and that you need to actually meet eachother physically. Let’s see what his reaction is.

Here is my biggest concern: He seems to text and not call. This might be nothing. However, it can also be a major problem. Usually, ppl that text a lot and not talk on the phone have something to hide. Are you 100% positive that he is not married or already in a relationship here? Its always easier to cheat without a spouse finding out…thru text messages. Making a phone call involves talking to you on the phone and its easier to get caught that way.
Now…calm down. I’m not saying he’s definitely cheating. I just want you to be open to considering this option as well.

At the end of the day, my advise still remains the same: Give him an ultimatum (but be nice). Tell him that you cannot continue having a “phone relationship” and that you need to actually meet eachother physically. Let’s see what his reaction is.
Keep me posted!

I wanna know what you think!

1. Unexpected touches. It’s the greatest thing. He pops put of the shower in the morning and as you shuffle past him, you hit him with a peck on the the back of the neck. Yes it’s true: The slightest touch from you can bring a man to his knees in mid-sentence. Even those quick bicep rubs when he gets back from the gym, or those errant shoulder squeezes at the supermarket, can send your man over the moon. It’s as if out of the blue, you were so overcome by his breathtaking cuteness that you just had to give him a cuddle. Who wouldn’t love that?

And men adore your tender touch in the bedroom as well. Because contrary to popular belief, guys aren’t just looking for fast-track orgasmic manoeuvres in the dark. They want and need, hot drawn-out nights of passion just as much as we do.

2. Ego Stroking. Guys often feel the need to be the provider, the man of the house and whether he’s succeeded in hanging a shelf or grilling a mean T-bone, he’s in heaven when you give him that “You did a great job” kiss on the cheek. More than anything, your man wants to feel as if he’s your hero. He wants to feel like an excellent provider and protector. 
A heart-felt “Great job, babe” will put him on top of the world (even if all he did was screw in a light bulb).

3. You laughing with him (and even at him….sometimes!). See all guys secretly strive to be the funniest guy in the room and cracking up gives them the ultimate high. Yes your giggles are gold to your guy, so crack up whenever you get the chance. Except of course when he’s naked. Then the snickering isn’t quite so appreciated. But seriously,  he loves putting a smile on your face, because what a man wants more than anything is to know that he makes you the happiest woman on earth.

4. Get Kinky. The definition of kinky is relative, so to each her own. However most of men love a women unafraid of exploring her sexuality and that means experimenting. Occasionally you may have to open your man up to ideas, but whatever the nature of your experiences, remember that for it to be a pleasurable one, it should be a mutual decision. It could be as simple as extending your sexual routine by venturing into the world of leather and lace. Whatever it is, an open mind is usually a sexy one. Men find that extremely sexy and unexpectingly amazing!

5. Men crave understanding women. Men need you to give them private time to be left alone, to spend on hobbies and sports, and to spend time with other men. Some men need a few minutes to unwind when they walk in the door before sharing the day’s challenges. Some of us need this space, too, but I’ve noticed that most of us prefer to launch into the daily review, while men would really just like a hug, a kiss, and then some quiet space for a few minutes to unwind prior to reviewing the day together. Do what works best for your relationship. I find that a sincere and compassionately deep hug upon greeting is nice. There’s no man out there that will complain about that!
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1) He doesn’t return your phone calls in 24 hours. I know we’re all busy but if it takes him an entire day to call you back, then he’s just trying in a very subtle way to let you go. There are some special instances where he doesn’t call in an entire day but if he makes a habit of it, then you shouldn’t bother expecting anything meaningful from this “relationship.”

2) He only calls really late at night. Unless he has odd working hours, then this is otherwise a bad sign. If he doesn’t enjoy talking to you before midnight, then he might have a totally different idea about you. Does he only seem to call when he wants phone sex? Or when he wants to come over to get the real thing? Or wants to hang out at the last minute? He’s obviously hanging out with you until he finds someone he’s more interested in.

3) There’s always an excuse about meeting the parents. Or friends. Or public gatherings. He does everything within his power to keep you from his parents. He hasn’t asked you to meet his mom and dad. He doesn’t invite you to family functions or gatherings, even on special occasions or Holidays. He never mentions you or brings your name up in conversations to the ones he loves.

4) He communicates with you via text messages only. His texts are random, vague jargon, and rarely pertain to anyone or anything but himself. He sends these brief exchanges of words mainly during work hours when he’s bored, just to pass time. 

With new age technology, texting has become normal, but it’s not acceptable when it’s the only form of communication you have. Receiving LOL messages are cute for teenagers, and it’s even catchy when Trey Songz sings about it, but it just doesn’t do it for adults. He could be sending mass texts to many females at once, and you would never know it. If he doesn’t wish to interact with you in person, then he’s not serious.

5) He’s emotionally and physically detached from you. Lets face it: Men love to have sex! If he used to love sleeping with you and couldn’t keep his hands off you…but all of a sudden, he withdraws from you, then he’s probably no longer interested. Fact is thus: If he’s not sleeping with you at all, he’s sleeping with someone else.

Relationships are not built on sex alone. It is a whole combination of things and they all go hand in hand. If ALL he’s doing is sleeping with you, then this also a bad sign.  But this is harder to tell. However, if he’s stopped sleeping with you and makes up excuses everytime you want to have sex, then there’s a problem here!!!

I’m not saying you shouldn’t ask your man these things but be careful! Are you willing to accept it if he answers YES to either of the above questions? Look, lets be real. When we hang out with our girls, we talk/ look at other guys. It’s ok…We all do it! Why would you expect less from your man? He’s human, ain’t he?

The problem with society today is the false image movies portray. Love doesn’t mean NOT finding other people attractive. Love is not a bed of roses. Love hurts sometimes and you’ll want to walk away from it all. Love means having to fight (not literally) for what you want.

We all have something that inspires us during difficult times. I think Avant said it the best in his song, “When it hurts”

“Can you take me telling you the truth
When I know the situation is shadiest…

Babygirl we gotta face it
There’ll be times that we let each other down
And on the days that you ain’t feeling me
Will you be able to stick around?
Cause anything worth having’s worth fighting for
If we really want this thing to work
We gotta go to war…

I wanna change people’s definition of love
So forget what you heard
Cause the only way that this will work
Is if you love me when it hurts…”

I love this song particularly because a lot of people don’t think this way at all. You should be happy in whatever relationship you’re in…but don’t run away when things get tough! Your man should always try his possible best to make you happy. But never forget that he’s human and will make mistakes sometimes…

Break ups are messy and scary and sometimes inevitable. It hurts whether you’re the one doing the break up or you’re the one being broken up with! There are several things that you can do to get over someone. We all have different methods that help us move on…For me, some things that helped me over the years include: Keeping myself busy with work, hanging out with friends, and cutting off all communication from him. I mentioned this because I’ve noticed that encouraging contact with an ex is never a productive thing…unless I plan on getting back together with him. When you keep having sex or talking to an ex, you can never fully detach yourself from that relationship and move on.

I know its difficult to totally cut off all contact with him but thats your only chance of moving on to something better. A girlfriend of mine is very into rebounds as a healing method. She says it works out pretty well for her cos she just needs to have a quick fling to move on. Well, that works for her. I can’t tell you much about this because this was never my technique.

But, I wanna hear from you! What has worked for you during a break up?

Position 1

Position 2: This is called the Parallel Squeeze. Lay on the floor…flat on your stomach. Keep your legs straight and spread them out a little. Ask your man to stretch himself over you and rest on his elbows. He then positions his legs outside yours. As he penetrates, close your legs and cross them at the ankles. You can also lift your booty up once in a while for dual action. OMG, this position is to die for!!! It enables you to fully feel his penis and every thrust drives a powerful sensation.

Position 3: This is definitely one of my favorite positions! Its called the Leg Lock. I advise you to try this on the countertop in the kitchen. Here’s what you do: Get on the countertop and spread your legs. Your man then stands in-between your legs and enters you. Wanna make it more interesting?  Place your hands behind your back and lean back a little. This gives room for more intense thrusts and you’ll be very close to an orgasm at this point!

Position 4: This one allows for an excellent view of your man the whole time he’s inside you…every moan and every expression. This is called the Deep Spot. Lie on your back and bring your knees up to your breasts. Now, cross your legs at your ankles. Your man then kneels in front of you and pulls your hips into penis…can we say WOW? Push your feet against his chest as he slowly enters you. This feels great everytime!