I don’t understand him…
Dolly,
Please, I want u to advice me about a guy I met on the net. We started talking on phone..he actually lives in the states and I live in Nig. We never met but he make his intentions known to me. He wants marriage and asked me to give him my attention and I did…I started liking him and looking forward to meeting him… but what i don’t understand about him is he doesnt call me everyday and sometimes I’ll text him, checking on him he replys me and never calls…and he promised coming on valentines day and he never called to let me know he is still coming…I’m just so confused. Pls advice me. I think i like him alot..if he’s for real, can I go ahead and call him?
From a concerned reader.
Dear Concerned Reader,
I definitely feel your frustration and you have every right to question his intentions. However I have a few concerns.
For starters, you mentioned that yall haven’t met yet. How is such a person already talking about marriage? I understand the fact that you both live in different countries doesn’t make it easier but the ultimate truth is that if he really truly wants to make this work, then he will visit.
How long have you both been talking/ texting? That also determines a few things. If it has only been a few weeks or so, then its too early to freak out. However, if we are talking about months or even a year, then my advise is thus: Give him an ultimatum (but be nice). Tell him that you cannot continue having a “phone relationship” and that you need to actually meet eachother physically. Let’s see what his reaction is.
Here is my biggest concern: He seems to text and not call. This might be nothing. However, it can also be a major problem. Usually, ppl that text a lot and not talk on the phone have something to hide. Are you 100% positive that he is not married or already in a relationship here? Its always easier to cheat without a spouse finding out…thru text messages. Making a phone call involves talking to you on the phone and its easier to get caught that way.
Now…calm down. I’m not saying he’s definitely cheating. I just want you to be open to considering this option as well.
At the end of the day, my advise still remains the same: Give him an ultimatum (but be nice). Tell him that you cannot continue having a “phone relationship” and that you need to actually meet eachother physically. Let’s see what his reaction is.
Keep me posted!
Posted on 9 February '10 by dolly, under Let's Talk, relationships.
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