Mother DOESN’T always know best…
When you’re going through an issue in your relationship, please…don’t start hanging out with your mom/ girlfriends and asking for advice. Or worse, if you are already aware that your friends or your mom feels an extreme way about your spouse, then don’t discuss it either. If your mom doesn’t like your man and she never supported you getting with him in the first place, then don’t bother talking to her about what’s going on. Why, you ask? Because she’ll give you negative reinforcement to leave him!-
Its not because she’s trying to steer you wrong. At that point in time, she thinks she’s helping you! Its human nature—if we feel strongly about something or someone, we tend to show that in our judgement. Don’t tell mom…because she’ll either help mend fences artificially (when she likes him) or break y’all apart (if she can’t stand him).
-
In my case, my mother loves my fiance and honestly, it makes my relationship with him a little easier because my mom and I are close. However, one thing I had to figure out over the years is that I can’t turn to my mom whenever my Fiance and I have problems. In her eyes, he can do no wrong and so she always finds a way to come up with an excuse for something he did. It wasn’t until I started to think for myself and make my OWN decisions about my relationship that I felt that we were making progress. Sure, we broke up for a while but I think that’s exactly what saved our relationship. We came back together stronger than ever because each party said their piece and came to an agreement about certain things. If I had involved mom, I would probably have just let the issue go and it would have come up again.
-
Plain and simple: You’re the one dating/marrying the guy…not mom. On this topic, mom doesn’t always know best!
Posted on 17 September '09 by dolly, under Let's Talk, relationships.
Leave a Reply