No…you CANNOT say that on a date!
Dating is an art that a lot of people still haven’t mastered. Most single women complain that there are no good men out there. Now, while I can’t argue that there are SO many wonderful men just DYING to commit, I can say this much: Most women wouldn’t even know what to do with a good man IF he was thrown at them!
Sometimes, you could actually be meeting the right guys—those with “potential husbands” written all over them—and you’re messing up. My friend, Jules, was in a relationship for over 5 years and was engaged to the guy. Things didn’t work out and they both walked away after trying time and time again to stay together. Exhaustion had taken over…never a good thing.
Anyway, she got back out there and started dating. After a few “bad apples,” she finally met Tom, who seemed nice. You know that normal first/second date question, “How long was your last relationship?” thing that people do? Yeah, Tom threw that at Jules and she blurted out that it was 5.5 years and they were engaged and it didn’t work out and how once, when he came home late and blah blah. I should’ve put a collar on her and BUZZED the heck outta her so she could shush!
But, Tom freaked out, as expected and bailed after the date was over. Where did she go wrong? I’ll tell you.
No…Lying (especially with the VERY important things) is never good. Trust me. It’ll come back and bite you in the ass. Hard. Now, here’s somewhat of how she should’ve framed it:
“We were together for a few years. A lot of things went wrong. We probably just weren’t best suited for each other. After careful consideration, we ended things on a mature level and we both walked away in mutual agreement.” This lets him know you’re mature enough to deal with breakups, just in case things don’t work out between you two. Most importantly, it lets him know you’re not crazy and that you’re over your ex. No-one wants to deal with baggage. No man wants a crazy overly-emotional woman. NO MAN wants to hear horror ex stories. It tells him you’re probably gonna say horrible things about HIM if things don’t work out. And, ladies, let’s be honest: Even post-breakup, nobody wants to be described as a horrible person.
After you’ve been with each other long enough (comfortable enough to spill jelly on your shirt and laugh about it and he thinks it’s really adorable), then you can dish out details. Even then, be careful not to sound insane. Things like “I would love to punch that idiot in the throat, kick him in the groin and run over him with my car….” Keep that to yourself! J
Some related postPosted on 7 March '11 by dolly, under Let's Talk, relationships.
Leave a Reply